Family Suspended

How often I've thought my children are somewhere in this world but I don't know where. When I say often I mean often. The journey has had many twists and turns. We've been "expecting" since 2003. The possibility of Nemo & Nema being already born is very strong now. We can receive "the call" any day now. This is where the waiting gets really tough.

It's very humbling to think your children are some where and you have no control over keeping them safe. Although I'm happy I've learned this lesson here at this point of our journey. It really is all God. No I'm not completed lost to the fact that we do have control in some areas. If I jump off a tall building I will fall and I will get hurt. In the end, my trust is in God to keep our children safe.

Even still I'll post this heart wrenching poem just in case the people who are issuing the referrals will take pity on me. (I'm kidding, kind of)

Can You Hear a Mother's Cry?
From Michele Cervone Scott
As you look into their faces

Wondering who each one will become

One by one you refer them

To become someone's daughter or son
I wonder

Can you hear a mother's cry

Far across the ocean wide

Until the day she comes to know

When she can bring her dear one home?
You feed, you wipe, you dress them

With tender loving care

Knowing someone, somewhere wants them

And soon they will be there.
I wonder

Can you hear a mother's cry

Far across the ocean wide

Until the day she comes to know

When she can bring her dear one home?
Hearing each case before you

You know there'll be more to come

Children needing families

And parents little ones.

I wonder

Can you hear a mother's cry

Far across the ocean wide

Until the day she comes to know

When she can bring her dear one home?
The wait is long and tiring

But in faith and hope I press on.

Soon our prayers will be answered

And the waiting tears will be gone.
I wonder

Can they hear this mother's cry

Far across the ocean wide

Until the day I come to know

That I can bring my dear ones home.

It's Official

Brady is a pig. We long suspected. He eats like a pig and he snorts like a pig. Really I'm not kidding, Brady snorts like a pig. It’s like a scene from Green Acres. When he walks around smelling things he snorts like a pig. Last night it was all verified by a professional.

Brady had his first day of dog obedience. We decided Rick would be the official trainer. On our way there I just knew our Brady would be the star student and he didn't disappoint.There were two other dogs. One a black lab. He was one of the best looking labs I've ever seen. The other was a ankle bitter. I can't remember the name of his breed. He was a scaredy cat and hung out in between his dad’s feet most of the night. Look out Nemo & Nema if last night was any indication of what you have to look forward to you both are in trouble. I brought every piece of paperwork we had on Brady to class. Not to mention a camera. I snapped away capturing this very important moment. Can you imagine I was the only one in the group with a camera?

The first thing we learned was the equipment. Our trainer inspected Brady and thought the pincher collar would be a good option for him. Then we learned sit. Well all the dogs knew sit so we had a home run there. Then we learned down. Rick and I have been trying to work with Brady half heartily and knew he resisted this command. When the trainer asked for a volunteer who didn't know the down command and I eagerly volunteered our son. She looked at me a bit suspiciously. Perhaps I was a bit to eager. She told us there was an easy way and a hard way. She soon learned there was a third way. First the easy way. Food in your hand. Raise your hand a bit over his head, then down between his toes and out in front of him bringing him to the down position. We were all very entertained as she did this with Brady. Gee did I forget to mention that whenever you get on the floor he thinks you’re his play toy. He was all over her. Jumping on her, nibbling her arms, and licking her face. She quickly decided Brady needed to learn the more difficult way. Pretty much the same as before but pushing on his back. This technique had the same effect on Brady. He was all over her. Then it came the third way to get a dog into down position. She started to wrestle with him. She was saying things like, "I'm going to wrestle him to the ground." Then it happened, I couldn't believe my eyes, she wrapped her legs around his body and wrestled Brady to the ground. She also put him into a headlock. Well as inappropriate as it was I was in hysterics laughing. Once I realized now I was making a scene it made me laugh harder. Here was a professional doing exactly what I've had to do with Brady many times, wrestle him to the ground and put him into a headlock. Once I realized she was the one to help us and I had better stay on her good side I stopped laughing (out loud). She then worked with Brady a few more times on down and he got better. That's when she said it for the first time, "Your a little pig." Yup Brady would do anything for food.

Next we moved onto heal. Rick and I looked at each other with fear. Brady has never heard the word and has very poor manners on the leash. Quietly I said a prayer for Rick. No wrestling him to the ground wasn't going to help us here. She asked for a volunteer. Scaredy cat dog was still wrapped in between his father’s legs. So the black lap, who might I mention kept laying down falling asleep, was the lucky volunteer. He got it on the first try. Teachers pet. She said that was to easy and looked right at Brady. See I knew he'd be the star and he was. Rick and I both sighed a sigh of relief. It took Brady a bit but the instructor got him to heel by holding food out for him to follow. The whole time she kept saying, "You are a pig." She could've called him anything she wanted. She had done the impossible-Brady was heeling. Next it was Rick's turn. Again it took a bit but they did it.

The last thing we learned. The importance of being able to touch your dog anywhere. Got it, Brady will let us or anyone touch him anywhere. Then most importantly-You must be able to retrieve things out of your dog’s mouth. This one Brady has given us much practice with. Just the other day I preyed open his mouth reached my hand down his throat and pulled out my panties.
Thank God my dog is a pig.

The village

"However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the Lord you God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bess you"

Deuteronomy 15:4

Check out Bono's speech made to the NAACP on March 2, 2007, click here.

Waiting for "The Call"

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Matthew 21:22

We have all had the experience of hearing a lot about someone whom you have never actually seen but you have a picture in your mind of what they look like. Your imagination paints a picture of what you think they should look like based on little nuances picked up along the way. Only to find out when you meet them, "They don’t look anything like you imagined." Even though most all of us have had this experience. Some how each time it happens we’re still surprised at this mysterious event.

This is one thing I haven’t been doing with Nemo & Nema. We don’t have some of the basics needed for such visionary day dreaming. Sex is a big factor; we don’t know which gender. Age would be an important detail. No, we don’t know the answers to that question either.

One thing I do replay over and over is what will it be like to meet Nemo & Nema for the first time. I imagine snot flying everywhere. I imagine getting frustrated with myself because I’m crying so much I can’t see Nemo & Nema. Its especially worrisome when I envision the event from Nemo & Nema’s point of view. I image the nannies telling them they’re about to meet their forever Mom & Dad. Their excitement mixed with fear. The nanny will say , "There’s Mom, yes Nemo & Nema she’s the one over there whose eyes are all red and has big globs of snot drooling out of her nose." The first words I’ll hear from them are when they turn back to the Nanny and say, "That's my Mom? You have got to be kidding me?"

Then I pray it’s nothing like I imagine.

Other Ethiopian Blogs

For those you who may stubble across or lurking on my blog and want to view other blogs of families who have adopted or waiting to adopt from Ethiopia, click here.

Some questions are easy to answer

Some questions are easy to answer and some are more difficult. When we have Nemo & Nema I suspect people will ask lots of questions. I want to be prepared to answer them. Let's practice how to answer some questions.



Where are Nemo & Nema from? They're from Connecticut. They were born in Ethiopia and are now U.S. citizens.

Who are their real parents? Their real parents, Rick & Kateri, are raising them. They also have birthparents in Ethiopia.

How much did it cost to adopt? The average is between $15,000- $21,000 depending on the country. If someone is truly interested I'll give more details. Often people hear adoption costs a lot and they're validating if its true. I indulge this question so hopefully enough awareness will be raised so employers will give the same benefits to adoptive parents as birthparents.

Why did their parents give them up? This will need to be tailored after we adopt. The short answer is, "Their parents loved them very much and their decision to make an adoption plan was very unselfish. They wanted Nemo & Nema to be raised in a family that would be able to care for them and love them."

How much do you know about Nemo & Nema's real family? I believe you're asking about their birth-family. We know enough to share this private information with Nemo & Nema. Nemo & Nema will decide if and when they want to share this information.

Who loves you baby? We do and we can't wait to get you home.

Fart Proudly

"He that is conscious of
A Stink in his Breeches,
Is jealous of every Wrinkle
In another’s Nose."
-Benjamin Franklin,
Poor Richard’s Almanack, 1751


Back in Benjamin Franklin’s day, so I hear, people were much more inclined to speak of "hot" issues. They weren’t so concerned with offending another or being politically correct. You could use strong words like fart or even dare I say Lord. People actually let them rip when nature called. Today were so evolved we don’t want to offend anyone. Consequently, we avoid any type of controversy. This has left us impotent in our ability to discover truth or sharpen views through amicable discussions with one another. I recognize this with my self. In the world of adoption as we continue to broaden our understanding of the issues involved it becomes more and more apparent how many people have distorted views of adoption. It’s so easy to see because I saw them in myself first. One view that comes into play over and over is the- aren’t we the Mother Teresa type of people because we’re adopting.

Often when we share with people that we’re adopting from Ethiopia we hear "You folks are very Christian for doing that." Or "That will be one very lucky child." Not the kind of lucky because Rick and I are so very wonderful (although that is sometimes the meaning). Most of the time they mean because we’ll be bringing a child from a very poor nation to a very wealthy nation. Seems pretty harmless huh. Flash forward 10 years when Nemo and Nema is witness to this conversation. What does that communicate to them? That we’re their savior’s. That they’re indebted to us. Not the breeding ground for the foundation of unconditional love type of family.

It has a very subtle delivery of the viewpoint that adoption is second best, second choice, or last resort. My respect and honor to those who it was their first choice. For me it was my second choice. My first choice was the way of Adam and Eve. God had a different plan for me. Like Jesus in the garden I did say, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Trouble is I put a lot of focus on the first part of the scripture, take this cup away. God is very patient. For longer than I care to admit I tried to convince him to do it my way. I never thought adoption would be my best choice. What I soon discovered is God can change your heart. Its my hearts desire to adopt from Ethiopia. I long for it and dream if it like any expectant mother. Its no longer my second choice. It’s God’s plan for our lives. It’s His will and His will be done (if I just learn to get out of the way).
Because we’re adopting transnational and transcultural children we’ll have many opportunities to be ambassadors of adoption. Helping to dispel false perceptions or stop perpetuating adoption myths. To do this we’re going to have to hit controversial subjects head-on. We’ll need to fart proudly.