Good Friday & 6 month waiting date

1 Peter 3:18, “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit.”

What is Good Friday?

Good Friday is the day that marks when Jesus Christ was crucified on the cross for our salvation. Catholics are also supposed to meditate and pray between the hours of noon to three o'clock in the afternoon. These are the hours Jesus hung on the cross.
Good Friday is called good because on this day Jesus was crucified for our redemption of our sins.

Today we've officially been waiting for 6 months. Our agency tells people who are waiting for siblings they can expect their wait to be anywhere from 1 to 6 months for siblings. Unless you are requesting one child to be an infant. Then the wait can extend beyond 6 months. (That's us)

Every two weeks our agency has a conference call that updates families on who's next on the list. This is done by giving the date the next family sent in their dossier. A dossier is all of the required paperwork the country, in our case Ethiopia, to process an adoption.

It's relatively easy to calculate how much longer you have to wait if you have specific request for infant. Example, if you are waiting for a female infant and you sent in your dossier in November of 2006 and they tell you the next person on the list is June, 2006 you can estimate your wait to be another 5 months.

When you're in the siblings category there are to many variables to take into account. It's not so easy to determine an estimated date. What makes it a bit easier is we know very few people ask for siblings groups. The next family on the list is September, 2006. We're October, 2006. I almost come out of my skin when I say that but I try to stay cool. We've had so many highs and lows. At this point I'm shoving everything down deep. I'll break down when we get "the call."

Of course we don't know how many families there are between September and October. Nor do we know what their requests are. Although I secretly hope they're very specific. Like-two siblings-one male under 12 months and one female under 24 months. See the more specific you are with your request for siblings the narrower your odds of being matched. The major unknown is what children will be brought to our agencies orphanage.

As we continue to wait we've found a song that expresses our prayer for our children. To hear it click here.

The Gift

"Tis the gift to be simple,

Tis the gift to be free,

Tis the gift to come down

Where we ought to be.

And when we find ourselves

In the place just right,

Twill be in the valley

Of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd

To bow and to bend

We shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight

Til by turning, turning we come round right.

-Shaker Hymn, 1848
It was 1992 when I first heard of the notion to ‘pray for God’s will’ and I didn’t like the idea very much. I had told my Nana about a job I wanted very much and had interviewed for. Her response was, "I’ll pray you receive the job if its Gods will." I went home and told my mother about what had happened. We laughed together at my reaction, which was, "No pray I get the job." To heck whether or not its Gods will. I didn’t get that job but I did get a better job in the end. That was my first lesson in searching for God’s will for my life.

Flash-forward to 2002 I had another lesson in praying for God’s will. Rick and I had spent the year with doctors testing to see if we could have biological children. This time I was a least smart enough to pray, "Lord, I don’t trust myself to do the right thing because my desire to have children is so strong. So please work through my husband for your will to be done." This was my prayer at the beginning of our journey.
After about a year we had our appointment scheduled to hear our final test results as to whether or not we could have children without medical intervention. Rick and I talked about what we were willing and not willing to do. I knew my flesh was weak. I was so afraid my desire to have children would compromise my agreement with Rick. One day I was driving to work and silently prayed, "God I can do this with your help. I need to know this is your will. If it is when I come home from work tonight and I find Rick reading about Abraham in the Bible I’ll know its your will to do what Rick and I agreed to. God it can’t be two nights from today that I find him reading the bible. It can’t be him reading about anything else. If it is, it will give me enough wiggle room to discount our agreement here and now." Off I went to work and forgot about my Morning Prayer. When I came home Rick was no where to be seen. Upstairs I called for him and he answered downstairs. At the top of the stairs I said, "What are you doing?" He said, "Reading." Me, "What are you reading?" Rick, "The bible." At this point I remembered my Morning Prayer and knew the answer to my next question without asking. Me, "What are you reading in the Bible?" Rick, "I’m reading about Abraham." By this point the hairs on my arms where standing straight up. I thought, "Well Rick doesn’t know about my prayer-I still have wiggle room." As the night went on I realized that if God was going to answer my prayer in such an amazing way I couldn’t throw it in his face. That night I shared what happened with Rick.

A few days later we went to that fateful appointment. As we sat across from the doctor who shared the news I was filled with a joy and peace you just can’t explain. Here I was being told that the best science could tell (taking into account my husbands and my agreement) we would not have biological children and I couldn’t have been happier. I felt like the light of the world was within me and I was full of love. My God had spoken to me clearly. Cared enough to answer a quite prayer. Of all the things going on in this world He took time to assure me HE was in control.

That was good enough for me.

Family Suspended

How often I've thought my children are somewhere in this world but I don't know where. When I say often I mean often. The journey has had many twists and turns. We've been "expecting" since 2003. The possibility of Nemo & Nema being already born is very strong now. We can receive "the call" any day now. This is where the waiting gets really tough.

It's very humbling to think your children are some where and you have no control over keeping them safe. Although I'm happy I've learned this lesson here at this point of our journey. It really is all God. No I'm not completed lost to the fact that we do have control in some areas. If I jump off a tall building I will fall and I will get hurt. In the end, my trust is in God to keep our children safe.

Even still I'll post this heart wrenching poem just in case the people who are issuing the referrals will take pity on me. (I'm kidding, kind of)

Can You Hear a Mother's Cry?
From Michele Cervone Scott
As you look into their faces

Wondering who each one will become

One by one you refer them

To become someone's daughter or son
I wonder

Can you hear a mother's cry

Far across the ocean wide

Until the day she comes to know

When she can bring her dear one home?
You feed, you wipe, you dress them

With tender loving care

Knowing someone, somewhere wants them

And soon they will be there.
I wonder

Can you hear a mother's cry

Far across the ocean wide

Until the day she comes to know

When she can bring her dear one home?
Hearing each case before you

You know there'll be more to come

Children needing families

And parents little ones.

I wonder

Can you hear a mother's cry

Far across the ocean wide

Until the day she comes to know

When she can bring her dear one home?
The wait is long and tiring

But in faith and hope I press on.

Soon our prayers will be answered

And the waiting tears will be gone.
I wonder

Can they hear this mother's cry

Far across the ocean wide

Until the day I come to know

That I can bring my dear ones home.

It's Official

Brady is a pig. We long suspected. He eats like a pig and he snorts like a pig. Really I'm not kidding, Brady snorts like a pig. It’s like a scene from Green Acres. When he walks around smelling things he snorts like a pig. Last night it was all verified by a professional.

Brady had his first day of dog obedience. We decided Rick would be the official trainer. On our way there I just knew our Brady would be the star student and he didn't disappoint.There were two other dogs. One a black lab. He was one of the best looking labs I've ever seen. The other was a ankle bitter. I can't remember the name of his breed. He was a scaredy cat and hung out in between his dad’s feet most of the night. Look out Nemo & Nema if last night was any indication of what you have to look forward to you both are in trouble. I brought every piece of paperwork we had on Brady to class. Not to mention a camera. I snapped away capturing this very important moment. Can you imagine I was the only one in the group with a camera?

The first thing we learned was the equipment. Our trainer inspected Brady and thought the pincher collar would be a good option for him. Then we learned sit. Well all the dogs knew sit so we had a home run there. Then we learned down. Rick and I have been trying to work with Brady half heartily and knew he resisted this command. When the trainer asked for a volunteer who didn't know the down command and I eagerly volunteered our son. She looked at me a bit suspiciously. Perhaps I was a bit to eager. She told us there was an easy way and a hard way. She soon learned there was a third way. First the easy way. Food in your hand. Raise your hand a bit over his head, then down between his toes and out in front of him bringing him to the down position. We were all very entertained as she did this with Brady. Gee did I forget to mention that whenever you get on the floor he thinks you’re his play toy. He was all over her. Jumping on her, nibbling her arms, and licking her face. She quickly decided Brady needed to learn the more difficult way. Pretty much the same as before but pushing on his back. This technique had the same effect on Brady. He was all over her. Then it came the third way to get a dog into down position. She started to wrestle with him. She was saying things like, "I'm going to wrestle him to the ground." Then it happened, I couldn't believe my eyes, she wrapped her legs around his body and wrestled Brady to the ground. She also put him into a headlock. Well as inappropriate as it was I was in hysterics laughing. Once I realized now I was making a scene it made me laugh harder. Here was a professional doing exactly what I've had to do with Brady many times, wrestle him to the ground and put him into a headlock. Once I realized she was the one to help us and I had better stay on her good side I stopped laughing (out loud). She then worked with Brady a few more times on down and he got better. That's when she said it for the first time, "Your a little pig." Yup Brady would do anything for food.

Next we moved onto heal. Rick and I looked at each other with fear. Brady has never heard the word and has very poor manners on the leash. Quietly I said a prayer for Rick. No wrestling him to the ground wasn't going to help us here. She asked for a volunteer. Scaredy cat dog was still wrapped in between his father’s legs. So the black lap, who might I mention kept laying down falling asleep, was the lucky volunteer. He got it on the first try. Teachers pet. She said that was to easy and looked right at Brady. See I knew he'd be the star and he was. Rick and I both sighed a sigh of relief. It took Brady a bit but the instructor got him to heel by holding food out for him to follow. The whole time she kept saying, "You are a pig." She could've called him anything she wanted. She had done the impossible-Brady was heeling. Next it was Rick's turn. Again it took a bit but they did it.

The last thing we learned. The importance of being able to touch your dog anywhere. Got it, Brady will let us or anyone touch him anywhere. Then most importantly-You must be able to retrieve things out of your dog’s mouth. This one Brady has given us much practice with. Just the other day I preyed open his mouth reached my hand down his throat and pulled out my panties.
Thank God my dog is a pig.

The village

"However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the Lord you God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bess you"

Deuteronomy 15:4

Check out Bono's speech made to the NAACP on March 2, 2007, click here.

Waiting for "The Call"

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Matthew 21:22

We have all had the experience of hearing a lot about someone whom you have never actually seen but you have a picture in your mind of what they look like. Your imagination paints a picture of what you think they should look like based on little nuances picked up along the way. Only to find out when you meet them, "They don’t look anything like you imagined." Even though most all of us have had this experience. Some how each time it happens we’re still surprised at this mysterious event.

This is one thing I haven’t been doing with Nemo & Nema. We don’t have some of the basics needed for such visionary day dreaming. Sex is a big factor; we don’t know which gender. Age would be an important detail. No, we don’t know the answers to that question either.

One thing I do replay over and over is what will it be like to meet Nemo & Nema for the first time. I imagine snot flying everywhere. I imagine getting frustrated with myself because I’m crying so much I can’t see Nemo & Nema. Its especially worrisome when I envision the event from Nemo & Nema’s point of view. I image the nannies telling them they’re about to meet their forever Mom & Dad. Their excitement mixed with fear. The nanny will say , "There’s Mom, yes Nemo & Nema she’s the one over there whose eyes are all red and has big globs of snot drooling out of her nose." The first words I’ll hear from them are when they turn back to the Nanny and say, "That's my Mom? You have got to be kidding me?"

Then I pray it’s nothing like I imagine.

Other Ethiopian Blogs

For those you who may stubble across or lurking on my blog and want to view other blogs of families who have adopted or waiting to adopt from Ethiopia, click here.