It's Official

Brady is a pig. We long suspected. He eats like a pig and he snorts like a pig. Really I'm not kidding, Brady snorts like a pig. It’s like a scene from Green Acres. When he walks around smelling things he snorts like a pig. Last night it was all verified by a professional.

Brady had his first day of dog obedience. We decided Rick would be the official trainer. On our way there I just knew our Brady would be the star student and he didn't disappoint.There were two other dogs. One a black lab. He was one of the best looking labs I've ever seen. The other was a ankle bitter. I can't remember the name of his breed. He was a scaredy cat and hung out in between his dad’s feet most of the night. Look out Nemo & Nema if last night was any indication of what you have to look forward to you both are in trouble. I brought every piece of paperwork we had on Brady to class. Not to mention a camera. I snapped away capturing this very important moment. Can you imagine I was the only one in the group with a camera?

The first thing we learned was the equipment. Our trainer inspected Brady and thought the pincher collar would be a good option for him. Then we learned sit. Well all the dogs knew sit so we had a home run there. Then we learned down. Rick and I have been trying to work with Brady half heartily and knew he resisted this command. When the trainer asked for a volunteer who didn't know the down command and I eagerly volunteered our son. She looked at me a bit suspiciously. Perhaps I was a bit to eager. She told us there was an easy way and a hard way. She soon learned there was a third way. First the easy way. Food in your hand. Raise your hand a bit over his head, then down between his toes and out in front of him bringing him to the down position. We were all very entertained as she did this with Brady. Gee did I forget to mention that whenever you get on the floor he thinks you’re his play toy. He was all over her. Jumping on her, nibbling her arms, and licking her face. She quickly decided Brady needed to learn the more difficult way. Pretty much the same as before but pushing on his back. This technique had the same effect on Brady. He was all over her. Then it came the third way to get a dog into down position. She started to wrestle with him. She was saying things like, "I'm going to wrestle him to the ground." Then it happened, I couldn't believe my eyes, she wrapped her legs around his body and wrestled Brady to the ground. She also put him into a headlock. Well as inappropriate as it was I was in hysterics laughing. Once I realized now I was making a scene it made me laugh harder. Here was a professional doing exactly what I've had to do with Brady many times, wrestle him to the ground and put him into a headlock. Once I realized she was the one to help us and I had better stay on her good side I stopped laughing (out loud). She then worked with Brady a few more times on down and he got better. That's when she said it for the first time, "Your a little pig." Yup Brady would do anything for food.

Next we moved onto heal. Rick and I looked at each other with fear. Brady has never heard the word and has very poor manners on the leash. Quietly I said a prayer for Rick. No wrestling him to the ground wasn't going to help us here. She asked for a volunteer. Scaredy cat dog was still wrapped in between his father’s legs. So the black lap, who might I mention kept laying down falling asleep, was the lucky volunteer. He got it on the first try. Teachers pet. She said that was to easy and looked right at Brady. See I knew he'd be the star and he was. Rick and I both sighed a sigh of relief. It took Brady a bit but the instructor got him to heel by holding food out for him to follow. The whole time she kept saying, "You are a pig." She could've called him anything she wanted. She had done the impossible-Brady was heeling. Next it was Rick's turn. Again it took a bit but they did it.

The last thing we learned. The importance of being able to touch your dog anywhere. Got it, Brady will let us or anyone touch him anywhere. Then most importantly-You must be able to retrieve things out of your dog’s mouth. This one Brady has given us much practice with. Just the other day I preyed open his mouth reached my hand down his throat and pulled out my panties.
Thank God my dog is a pig.