What to do with Brady?

While we’re in Ethiopia my parents have offered to take care of Brady. I would be remiss if I didn’t share some of his "qualities". It’s important they know what they’re getting themselves into. Here’s my best attempt to describe our yellow lab, Marley—I mean Brady.

Here are some things Brady loves.

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  Mud puddles, he’ll lay right down in them. My parents have a cow pond that when dogs go in they come out black and very smelly. It seems to me that Brady will find that quickly.
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  Water
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  Twig, he prances when he has one in his mouth.
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  Loves to lay right under you feet when you’re in the kitchen working.
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  Loves to get in the shower with you. Be warned dad- he’ll try to catch in his mouth what ever is dangling. Dad, if you need further clarification talk with Rick.
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  He also loves to eat the soap in the shower.
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  Brady loves to play with the water in his water dish.
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  He loves to eat panties and socks.
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  Brady has a toe fetish. We wear socks a lot to avoid his licking and nibbling of our toes.
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  He loves to cuddle if you’re okay with him lying on your upper body onto your head. Where he’ll lick and nibble your ears and nose.

Here are some things I should warn you about.

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Never leave any remote controls, cellular phones or car keys where he can get them. He will ruin them.

Never leave any type of paper where he can reach he will eat any form of paper. This includes books and magazines.

Never try to get his attention while he’s drinking from his water dish. He will stop to look at you and water pours from his jowls.

If you are opposed to large streams of drool do not ask him to wait for his food. You may slip and fall by what is left on the floor. Rick and I have contests on how long we can make the drool hang. Well mostly me because it totally grosses Rick out. O’ the simple pleasures of life.

If you tell him no and then walk away, he may nip you in the butt or else where. Again, Dad best not to go commando with Brady in the house.

If you are sitting and you tell him no, he bonks you with his nose.

He has a bit of vampire in him. When licking he always goes for the neck.

He is very regular after he eats.

He will "go" on command. Be careful where you say go.

Eats everything, rocks, sticks, bark right off the tree, poop and dead animals.

He is always hungry.

Can not tolerate the heat.

He has a dog bed we call his girlfriend. Every night he takes his girlfriend out on a date. If you know what I mean.

He runs side ways.

His farts are very smelly. Not good when you're in the car.

He knocks things over with his nose. Example full glass of water.

One thing you don’t have to worry about-if you have forgotten where you put his food, he will show you.

I'll Pass on the Halo Please

The word halo is defined by Merriam-Webster as, "the aura of glory, veneration, or sentiment surrounding an idealized person or thing." Adopting has been a wonderful and exciting opportunity to bring children into our family. What it has not been is some altruistic act to help save a child from a life of poverty. The bottom line why we are adopting from Ethiopia is something much less glamorous. Here it is---we wanted to have children. As simple as that is somehow it gets twisted in the translation. We continue to hear after we tell people we’re adopting from Ethiopia, "What a good thing you are doing for those children." Inside I scream, "Noooooo stop! Don’t put me up on that pedestal. I’ll fall for sure."
Here’s what I do believe. God did not plan for Rick and I to have trouble having biological children. God did not plan for our children’s birth mother to be too poor to provide for them. What God did plan,
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." Gen 50:20-21

No Travel Date

I haven't blogged in a while because we've been very busy. Many have been asking the next logical question, "When do you travel?" Short answer is we don't know. It appears travel happens on average 8 weeks after referral. I can see on the on-line support group the next group to travel will do so in a couple of weeks. They're called group 44. The people in this group received their referral in the beginning of May. That means we could be in group 45 or 46. It depends on how many people received referrals ahead of us and if our case went through the 13 Ethiopian courts without a snag. So we will most likely travel the end of July. I thought once I had the referral I'd be nuts being separated from the boys, I'm not. I've had so much to do to keep me occupied.

The next most popular question, "Have you heard anything new?" Yes bless people's hearts. People who have been in Ethiopia have sent us bits of insight into our boys and new pictures too!!!! We have been told K is very serious and takes everything in around him. T is still shy around the camera but loves to play ball. This was good news for Rick because he wants to play baseball with the boys. The best news I heard was that K is not walking yet. I know its selfish but I want to experience as much of the infancy part of child rearing as I can. So it was with great relief to hear K isn't walking. From a picture I can tell he has at least 2 teeth, so stinkin cute.

We've also found out their birth family probably speaks Kembatigna. Anyone fluent?

My sister in law, S, and I went to register at Babies R Us. We had a fantastic time. So glad she helped me. One brother has given us bunk beds and the other brother has given us a crib. So very helpful on the pocketbook. Someone I work with has blessed us with so many things, books, stuffed Nemo toys (2 so the boys won't fight) and lots of encouragement. Actually many people have given us a lot of support-THANK YOU all!

I've started to write in journals for each of our boys. Things like what happened when we received the referral, our steps to get them, and stuff like that. It will be their story from our eyes.

What else, well anytime I see a child that appears close to T or K age I ask the parents how old the child is and their weight. I'm trying to get that mental vision of what they look like. Last night I was in emergency care (everything is fine-was with a friend-also fine) and saw a little girl who is K's age. Her mother was in her early 20's. I found my self staring. I was watching to see what we are in for and to see how the mother was doing her job-picking up tips. Things like- child steps on toy, tell child not to step on toys. I think I can remember that. Child tries to climb onto table-run over in silly fun voice and say, "What are you doing?" Both being reduced to giggles. Okay I can do that. See now that I have the referral the anxiety of can I actually do this has set in. What if I forget to feed them or something? I do it all the time with plants. Hell I kill plants.

Then the little girl went into the room. Out of the room came tear jerking cries. Yes I sat in the waiting room fighting tears. I was imagining my child going through the experience. Then a little boy T's age came in with his father. He had dislocated his wrist. As his father was checking them in he was holding the little boy. The little boy heard the little girl crying. With a concerned voice he told his father his observation. His father distracted by filling out paper work gave a unconvincing, "Its okay." The little boy continued to listen. Then he said, "Can I go play with them?" I guess if a little boy no older than 4 can figure out what to do with a child even a dope like me will do okay.

You are going to be so loved.

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord,

children a reward from him."

Psalms 128:3

We have officially accepted the referral. Rick and I have been floating on air all week. A lot of the fun has come from watching other peoples response.

First when we share we have the referral and then when we show them their picture. It's amazing and so appreciated when people get teary eyed. It has happened so many times. Of course everyone agrees the boys are beautiful.

My mothers response was my favorite. When I showed her their picture, of course she was already crying, she kept saying, "You're going to be so loved." Then she would hold the picture to her chest and then look at their picture again saying, "You are going to be so loved."

Earlier this week we have an unexpected treat. One of our agencies social worker is at the orphanage now. She e-mailed us a brief note on each of the boys. I never imagined the joy an e-mail could bring me. Of course as excited as we are we are also aware these boys and their birth family are going through so much. Hearing her tell us a bit of how they are doing helped eased our mind. The members or our agency's on line support group can't say enough positive things about how the children are cared for.

Here's what she said about T.

"T (his brother is K- referred to the Wheeler family): Seems to be adjusting well to HH. He doesn't like the camera for some reason so I haven't been able to get a photo of him. I remember the first day they came to HH. All the kids in the car where crying except for T. He was super shy and kept watch over his brother. I went in to see the new kids that evening and the nanny had some toys on the floor for all the kids. T was rounding up all the toys and giving them to his brother! He then acted as a wall between his brother/the toys and all the other kids. He was very sweet w/his brother who cried a lot in the beginning. T would give him kisses and try to comfort him. He always stayed by his side and kept an eye on him."

I love it that it's in his character to make sure his brother has the toys. He looked after making sure his brother was okay instead of meeting his own needs. I can't wait for him to trust we'll take over caring for both of their needs.

Here's what she said about K.

"K (his brother is T )- i think they were referred to the Wheeler family: Such a handsome little fellow! Beautiful eyes and a wonderful smile. Was playing in his room last night. Loves to be tickled and of course loves getting hugs and kisses."

I knew the transition was weighing heavily on K. It was so good to hear he's been smiling. So glad to hear he likes getting hugs and kisses. Right now Brady is the stand in. (yes of course Rick too) Brady was happy to hear that too because he doesn't like them so much.