We have a digger...

"The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter

till the full light of day."

Proverbs 4:18

Yesterday I found out my parenting light of righteous is just a flicker. Our son Brady came into the house covered in mud. My first thought was, "Okay our children will come home in mud. No big deal." First I saw his nose. It was black and dripping with mud. His whole nose not just the end. Then I looked down at his feet, his paws up to the half way mark of his legs-covered in black mud. I went to grab him and any time you touch him he thinks you want to play. So Brady gets all excited and jumps on me. Now I have dripping mud all over me. Still seeing this as an opportunity to develop my parenting skills I think, "No big deal. Yes they are my favorite pj's but they can be washed." Next Brady realizes he's wet. What do dogs do when they're wet. Yup they shake. Brady did shake and he shook. I stood watching helplessly as black mud flew all over our freshly painted kitchen walls. The walls my husband has been working on after work and on the weekends. Still completely impressed with how I was handling this unexpected event before work I thought, "That's okay, I can wash the walls and my husband will never see the dotted mud streaked white walls." Before I could address the walls I knew I had to clean Brady up. As I went to get a towel-he took off onto our clean carpet. Okay I can clean the carpet, I thought. Now I was started to talk to my self through clenched teeth. The lighthearted approach was fading and I was doing my best to fake it. So off I go to clean off Brady. Sometimes Brady likes to play keep-a-way and much to my chagrin this turned into one of them. Around the house I chased my mud slinging dog. No longer trying to fake any pretense's of righteousness. This was war. Good against evil. Good-me fighting to keep our house clean against evil-Brady doing his best to sling mud all over my house. Yes finally I get a hold of Brady. As I try to clean him off he continues to play. Play for Brady means continually biting you and grabbing your arms between his arms. No he doesn't bit hard but still a nuance. Now I'm reduced to screaming, "No Brady-Stop Brady" thinking somehow its a volume issue. Apparently he can't hear me. I must yell louder. Just what the neighbors want to hear at 5:30am. Finally I wrestle him to the floor. Did I mention our 7 month old puppy is pushing 60 pounds? I wrapped my legs around his body and put his head into a head lock so I could clean the mud off him. As you can imagine I was a little late for work. When I walked in the someone mentioned, "Running a little late today?" To which I responded, "ya I decided to do a little cleaning around the house."

Where did the mud come from? Brady dug a hole right in the pathway my husband walks in the morning, in the dark, to his truck. Thus, we have a digger. Pray my light gets brighter before Nemo & Nema come home.

I did learn something from this experience. It's okay -I can clean mud off of the floor, dog, kitchen table, dining room table, carpet, kitchen walls, living room walls, heck lots of walls, couches, wood floors, pj's, oven, fridge, and dishwasher.

Happy Valentine's Day

"Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other."

1 Thessalonians 4:9

It must have started before but I didn't recognize the change in me until I read how the Islamists wanted to go into Ethiopia to terrorize people. It was the first time I realized I loved Ethiopia. I've read about her and now knew her in a more intimate way. The thought of anyone wanting to bring evil onto to her soil really bothered me. Then yesterday I was watching a Save the Children infomercial and they were showing children in Africa. As I watched the realization of I could be looking at Nemo or Nema came to my awareness. Like many people I've seen those and thought "O those poor people. I'll need to remember them in my prayers." and that was it. I have a connection now to those people through our adoption. I'm not as moved when I hear in other areas of the world of the killing or how people are dieing from the same things as the people in Africa. The difference is my connection with Africa. How can God love the whole world? He created us and you can't get more connected than that. I do believe I'm being taught to love in a new dimension.

Here's a link to an article about Ethiopian Adopting in the US. Click here

Color is more than skin deep

7 minute video of African-American girls trying to define themselves. Click Here

6-week no hold

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Gelatians 6:9

For us adoptive parents our "pregnancy" is filled with learning about our child's birth origin, transracial/transnational, attachment and bonding issues. One piece of advice that keeps coming up over and over again is for at least 6-weeks only Mom and Dad can hold, feed or change the children. This is difficult for a couple of reasons.

First I think of my mother. She has been a real trooper. No one has seen my transparency through this experience more than my mother (other than Rick). My feelings and emotions at times were strong and raw. Others shut down and clearly communicated they wanted no part of that side of the adoption process but my mother was right there, unflinching. I find myself thinking there has to be a special reward for that strong a dedication. The idea of denying her the ability to hold her grandchildren hurts.

The second is helping family and friends understand the reasons why. We've spent countless hours reading and studying these issues. In no way do I suspect we're experts but we do have a bit of knowledge. How do we share all that to help the people we care the most about understand we're looking out for the best interests of our children. The major misconception is young children won't remember anything nor will they grieve. I pray I have the patience to continue to try to educate and challenge this assumption with facts.

The third reason is I suspect we're going to be tired and want help when Nemo & Nema arrive. Will we be able to resist the temptation to let others care for Nemo & Nema to give us a break?

Here is one helpful web site that discusses how to help family and friends understand. Click Here

White Mother, Black Son

NPR radio show, click here.